


Chiron Retrograde, Venus Rising

by longleggedgit



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-16 14:10:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11254557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longleggedgit/pseuds/longleggedgit
Summary: While preparing for college entrance exams, Rei gains a new appreciation for astrology.





	Chiron Retrograde, Venus Rising

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who actually knows anything about a) math or b) astrology will likely be appalled by this fic. I apologize.
> 
> Thanks so much to mousapi for being a short-notice beta! ♥

 

Just as he's nearing a breakthrough with a particularly vexing math set that's been tormenting him for the better part of thirty minutes, Rei's phone buzzes to indicate a new unread message. He glances at the screen for a nanosecond—just an email, not from an address he recognizes—before returning to the problem in his book.

"Forgot to restrict the original differential," Rei mutters to himself, pushing his phone aside and reaching for his pencil. "Stupid—it's already defined in Subobject Z—"

His phone buzzes again. Rei runs a hand quickly through the hair falling across his forehead but doesn't look up from his book. "Differential Z to—no, wait, that's the subobject, it's C—"

Rei's phone buzzes for a third time and, in almost the same instant, his pencil tip snaps. Rei curses, picks up his phone, and throws it across the room onto the bed before swiveling his chair to face his computer.

"Just—need to check something—" He selects keikosmathhints.co.jp from his bookmarks and clicks through to the familiar page about spectral sequences. If he could only remember all the rules to filtration—he should _know_ these by now—

A flashing in his email inbox tab suddenly catches his attention, and Rei curses again. Three unread messages—what if something is actually urgent?

He goes to his inbox. The first email is a promotion from a swimwear distributor. The second is from a horoscope website Nagisa signed him up with a few days ago.

"Their predictions are _really_ accurate, Rei-chan," Nagisa had insisted when Rei tried to stop him. "Maybe they'll help you with your studying!"

"Ridiculous," Rei mutters, marking them both to be deleted. The third email, sent barely a minute ago, is from Nagisa. The subject line reads only _!!!!!!._ After a moment's pause, Rei opens it.

_REI-CHAN DID YOU READ YOUR HOROSCOPE FOR TODAY. go look at it right now. there's a part about studying!!_

Rei rolls his eyes, exits his inbox, and goes back to Keiko's Math Hints.

After ten seconds of staring blankly at the screen, he returns to his email and opens the trash folder.

 _SAGITTARIUS: BE CONSCIOUS OF MERCURY RETROGRADE!_ the email's subject line reads.

"Oh _really_ , Nagisa," Rei says, but he's already scrolling through the body of the message helplessly.

 _Mercury retrograde means Sagittarius is suffering in a big way to communicate and concentrate today_ , mydailyhoroscope@mytruehoroscope.co.jp informs him. _Instead of taxing yourself trying to finish that project at work or school, consider giving yourself the day off; you'll find you're much more productive if you try again tomorrow when your head is unclouded. Focus instead on tasks that enrich the body, heart, or spirit, not the mind._

"Unscientific _nonsense_ ," Rei snaps, clicking out of the email with such force that his knuckle actually hurts. "Utter _codswallop_."

He doesn't realize he's accidentally hit the back button to yesterday's horoscope until his eyes are already skimming over its contents.

 _Stubborn Sagittarius needs to consider heeding the advice of a close friend this week,_ it reads. _If you feel yourself starting to lose control, remember that sometimes, others know you better than you know yourself._

Rei snorts, disgusted, and finally turns away from the computer entirely, returning to his exercise book. But minutes tick by, and he finds, eyes glazing over as he stares unseeing at the page in front of him, that it's hopeless; he's completely lost the thread. He's on the verge of ripping the page out and tearing it to pieces when his phone starts buzzing again, this time with an incoming call.

"Hello," Rei says, dully, retrieving his phone from the crack between the mattress and headboard just before it goes to voice mail. He flops down face-first on top of the bed and tries to ignore the burning in his eyes.

"Did you read your horoscope, Rei-chan?" Nagisa's bright voice chirps into his ear.

"Half of it," Rei says, voice muffled by his comforter.

"Was it the half that said you should take a day off and do something fun?"

"There is nothing, Nagisa-kun," Rei says, turning his head so his voice can be heard more clearly, and the disdainful tone along with it, "that the _stars_ can tell us about _anything_ , other than the distance between certain celestial objects, or the atmospheric phenomena that lead to—"

"How long have you been studying?" Nagisa interrupts.

"Since four or so."

 _"A.M.?"_ Nagisa practically shrieks. "Enough. Stop it. You're taking a break. I'm coming over."

"Nagisa." Rei's head is starting to throb and he squeezes his temples, frowning against the pain. "I don't have time—the exam is in two weeks—"

"One hour," Nagisa says, firmly, in the voice Rei has learned not to try and reason with. "You can take a break for one hour. I'll be over on the next train."

He shows up thirty minutes later with convenience store onigiri and a box of ibuprofen, which he hands to Rei wordlessly.

"How did you know I had a headache?" Rei asks, eyebrows raised, as he tears open the box and knocks back two pills.

"You were using your headache voice on the phone," Nagisa says.

"Ah," Rei says, and then he follows Nagisa into the living room to play a game of MarioKart, which admittedly does at least allow his shoulders to release some of the tension he's been carrying for days.

When he wakes up the next morning, less groggy than he's felt upon waking for a while now, Rei is struck by sudden inspiration. He bolts for his desk, flips open his book to yesterday's problem, and, within the space of five minutes, he's confirming via the answer key in back that he's solved it.

"Huh," Rei says, thoughtfully.

 

 

When he checks his email before school on Monday morning, instead of automatically deleting it, Rei reluctantly opens his horoscope. The subject line— _SAGITTARIUS: BEWARE YOUR OWN WORK ETHIC!_ —is click bait if he's ever seen it, but, well, it's effective.

_Since Saturn entered your house last month, you've been able to focus more intently on personal projects. You're on a roll recently, and your productivity will continue on an upswing; however, with increased focus in some areas comes neglect in others. Get your work done, but remember to also show your support for friends and family who may need you right now. Don't forget: You're not the only one under pressure._

"They're all so vague you could apply them to anything!" Rei says with a huff. He clicks the "Unsubscribe" button at the bottom of the email with a swift, decisive sweep of the mouse, then hurries to gather his things in enough time to make the train. By the time he arrives at school, he's completely forgotten about widely generalizable horoscopes.

At lunch, Rei stays at his desk, hunched over his exercise book with a bento balanced carefully on his lap. The New Year's holiday hadn't been nearly long enough to get ahead in his study schedule, and now, with so little time left, it's crucial to make the most of every spare moment. Rei is debating going back to the questions on history for a while—he's far weaker in that area than math—when a shadow falls over his book and desk.

"Reiiiii-chan," Nagisa croons, "what are you doing?"

Rei can't help but feel a twinge of annoyance at the interruption. "I should think that's obvious," he answers, turning the page.

"It's lunch time," Nagisa says.

Rei lifts his bento wordlessly. He can hear Nagisa scoff.

"You don't even have any protein! It's just rice!" Nagisa observes, probably mimicking something Rei has told him a thousand times, which makes it even more irritating.

"I already ate the vegetables," Rei says, scowling and setting his bento on the desk. He turns another page, even though he's not reading anymore.

"You need more than just vegetables to give yourself energy for studying," Nagisa says, and he's definitely mimicking Rei now. "You _also_ need to take breaks! I was reading something online that said the best study schedule is two hours on, one hour off. It also said you should get at least eight hours of sleep every night, by the way, which you _definitely_ never do—"

"I take my studies seriously, Nagisa!" Rei bursts out, voice a little too loud, snapping his book shut. The sudden movement makes his bento topple off the edge of the desk and onto the floor, sending rice flying everywhere. Nagisa jumps back, eyes wide and startled. Rei is startled, too, but there's still a spike of hot, angry frustration churning in his gut that he can't seem to calm. He finishes, coldly, "You wouldn't understand."

He's never seen Nagisa look so hurt before. He continues to watch Rei with wide, shining eyes for a few seconds, then drops his gaze to the floor, hands twisting together self-consciously. Slowly, the pounding in Rei's ears starts to quiet, and the churning in his gut turns quickly to nausea.

"Nagisa," Rei says, "I—"

"I got you this," Nagisa says, moving a plastic-wrapped sandwich from his desk to Rei's. His voice is unnervingly weak. Before Rei can respond, Nagisa shoulders his bag and leaves.

Rei picks up the sandwich—shrimp and avocado, his favorite—and turns it in his hands until he becomes suddenly aware of the persistent stares of his classmates. He crouches down to the floor, face and eyes burning, and starts scraping up rice.

 

 

Nagisa doesn't come back to class that afternoon, and he doesn't answer when Rei tries to call him after school lets out. Rei boards their usual train anxiously, glancing at his watch every few minutes as he draws nearer to Nagisa's stop. It's already four and he has so much studying to do, but Rei can think of nothing else but the journey to Nagisa's front door, which he makes in record timing.

"Oh, Rei-kun, Did you bring Nagisa's homework?" Nagisa's mother greets him warmly at the door, taking his coat and scarf to hang in the closet. "You're so sweet. He was feeling terrible today, poor thing; he came home white as a sheet."

Rei swallows down the considerable lump of guilt threatening to choke him, thanks Nagisa's mother, and then sprints up the stairs two at a time, hardly bothering to knock before he opens the door to Nagisa's bedroom.

"Nagisa-kun, I—" Rei begins, stopping abruptly when he realizes Nagisa is out cold, curled up on his bed with his face pillowed on an open book. There's a box of tissues at his elbow and a not insignificant number of crumpled-up tissue balls littering the floor beside the bed, Rei notices, his throat constricting even more tightly. He approaches the bed and drops to a crouch beside it.

He's about to call Nagisa's name again, but gets distracted by the open page Nagisa is currently drooling on. It's a set of math exercises, not unlike those Rei himself has been poring over lately; definitely a study guide for an entrance exam.

"Nagisa-kun," Rei says again, once he's found his voice. Nagisa's eyes squeeze together tightly, then slowly flutter open. When he realizes who woke him, Nagisa jolts back, away from Rei, and sits up.

"You've been studying hard," Rei says, because Nagisa is uncharacteristically quiet.

Nagisa glances sideways at his study guide, then quickly closes it and shoves it under his pillow, almost as if he's been caught doing something wrong.

"My exam is Sunday," he says at length. Rei almost gasps; he can't believe he forgot Nagisa's test date was a week before his.

"I'm so sorry, Nagisa," Rei says. "I—what I said was completely awful, and unfair, and I didn't mean a word of it. I've just—I've been a little stressed, but I took that out on you, and that's—" He swallows, searching for the right word. "Unforgivable," he decides on eventually.

A heavy silence falls as Nagisa picks at a button on his comforter and very pointedly does not look up to meet Rei's eyes. He hasn't said enough, Rei realizes, so he continues:

"I—you may be right about the breaks. Even the sleeping. I haven't been following a good study schedule. It's not productive."

Nagisa blinks up at him, obviously surprised at this concession, but doesn't seem prepared to forgive him just yet, as he just as quickly returns his attention to the comforter.

"Would you—if you're not too angry, that is—would you be willing to study with me, Nagisa-kun?"

This time, when Nagisa looks up, he doesn't turn away, and an unmistakably joyful smile spreads slowly across his face as Rei's words sink in. Rei feels suddenly, ridiculously, as if he might cry.

"Really?" Nagisa says.

Rei nods, then pretends to be distracted by a stack of textbooks piled next to Nagisa's desk so Nagisa won't notice if his eyes are shining a bit.

"Are those for your exam, too?" he asks.

"Yeah," Nagisa says. "It's just Tottori College, so it's not as hard as the national test. But there's still a lot of English."

"I've read that many of the smaller private universities use entrance exams that are comparable to the national test in both content matter and rigor," Rei says, firmly, before taking a seat on the floor next to the stack of textbooks and removing the English text from on top.

"I'm terrible at English," he says, truthfully. "Shall we start there?"

In lieu of an answer, Nagisa bounds off the bed, wrapping his arms around Rei's middle in a hug that forces all the air out of his lungs with a violent _Oof_. Then, as if he hadn't done anything of the sort, Nagisa gets to his feet and rifles through the mess on his desk.

"I've been making flash cards!" he says, holding out a small stack with pride.

Something in Rei's chest stutters sharply—relief, probably—and he smiles up at Nagisa for so long that he's slightly embarrassed by the time he remembers to speak.

"That's a very good idea," he says.

Rei doesn't get home until after eleven that night, but they actually managed to get a decent amount of work done in his time at Nagisa's, so he doesn't agonize over it too much. Just as he's about to slip into bed, Rei hesitates, then turns on his computer. He searches for mytruehoroscope.co.jp and, itching with mortification, re-subscribes to the daily email, very nearly knocking his monitor over in his haste to push himself away in disgust when the deed is done.

"Ridiculous," he mutters, but he can't help but feel reassured when he closes his eyes and drifts easily toward sleep.

 

 

_STUBBORN SAGITTARIUS: AVOID SELF-SABOTAGE_

_Sagittarians have a tendency to get themselves in trouble due to their stubbornness, especially when it comes to romance. Be conscious of your own flaws this week! Stubborn unwillingness to acknowledge budding feelings may result in self-sabotage. Open your mind and heart to new possibilities, and keep an eye turned toward the long-term. A little self-awareness goes a long way._

Rei scrubs his face tiredly and scrolls through the email on his phone screen once more, completely bewildered.

"Budding . . . feelings . . ." he reads aloud, feeling warmth start to bleed into his cheeks. He drops his phone and drags himself out of bed, forcing himself to start getting ready for school. He'd been hoping for another tip related to studying today— _not_ that he doesn't still think astrology is completely asinine, of course, just on the off chance it might accidentally contain a shred of sound advice—but now he's just feeling flustered.

He forgets about it by the afternoon, distracted by a literature quiz in first period and fitting study sessions with Nagisa into every spare minute of the day. Nagisa follows him home for further studying after school, and Rei is careful to praise him, with quite genuine admiration, for his impressive knowledge of the Shinpuuren Rebellion.

"The history questions are easy," Nagisa says dismissively. "I'm _never_ going to pass math or English."

"The types of math questions they use on these exams are really very formulaic," Rei tries to reassure him, but Nagisa just moans.

"Why do universities even _need_ entrance exams?" He drops his head to the open book balanced on his knees and drags it back and forth in frustration, the pages crumpling under his hair. Rei thinks about lecturing him for the damage he is probably doing to his book, but it's hard to muster any sentiment other than mild amusement when Nagisa gets like this.

"You'll be alright," Rei says. He takes a seat on the bed to Nagisa's right and rests a reassuring hand on the back of his head. Nagisa shifts, left cheek still cushioned against one wrinkled page, and looks at Rei sideways.

"Tokyo is really far away," he says abruptly. Rei freezes.

"Yes," he agrees, dropping his hand.

"I wonder what it's like to go to university there." Nagisa doesn't sound sad, exactly; more wistful, like he's imagining a fantasy life.

Rei swallows. He's been anxiously excited about the prospect of attending Tokyo University for a long time now, but hasn't actually devoted a great deal of thought to the fact that going means leaving Nagisa behind. It's hard to imagine going to classes, weekends, even just taking the train without him.

It's a long time before Rei realizes he still hasn't mustered a response to Nagisa's comment. He clears his throat and opens his mouth, intending to quote something complimentary he's read about Tottori College, when, to his great surprise, he realizes his eyes are wet.

"Rei-chan?" Nagisa appears to have been watching him this whole time, and his expression is one of stunned awe. "Are you crying?"

At a loss, Rei stands, hurrying for the door. "Just—allergies," he says, quite stupidly, and rushes to the bathroom.

He takes a long time rinsing his face in cold water before coming back. When he does, Nagisa thankfully doesn't ask any more questions, and they return to studying in companionable silence, but Rei can feel the pressure of eyes on him from time to time.

The morning of Nagisa's exam, Rei wakes up without an alarm and glances at his clock. 6:24; Nagisa should be getting up soon, and getting on a train in a little over an hour. But what if he forgot to set his alarm or fell back asleep? It wouldn't be the first time. Rei rolls over and grabs his phone from the bedside table, quickly composing a text, just in case.

_Are you awake? Have you eaten? Good luck today! You've been working very hard. I know you'll do well._

He wonders briefly if he's being a little too mother-ish, but maybe Nagisa could use some extra mothering this morning. He hits send and waits.

Ten minutes later, Rei is still waiting, and he's beginning to get anxious.

"He can't still be asleep . . ." Rei worries, glancing again at his clock. Quickly, decisively, he throws off his covers and rushes to dress himself without paying any attention at all to color coordination or wrinkles.

Nagisa should be taking the train that departs at 7:14 from his station. That means Rei has to get on the 7:08, first car—Nagisa always chooses the first car even though Rei has told him he has a statistically higher chance of getting a seat in the tenth—in order to catch him. If he's not on board, Rei could always get off and race to his house . . . Nagisa might _just_ be able to make his test if he caught the next train. . . .

Rei only makes the 7:08 by forcing his shoulder between the closing doors and causing them to angrily bounce open again. A few older passengers glare at him for the delay, and Rei almost explains that he would never dream of disrupting train service were this not an absolute _emergency_ , but in the end he just bows his head and keeps his eyes fixed steadfastly on the ground.

They pass the two stops between his and Nagisa's stations at what feels like a snail's pace. When they at last arrive at Nagisa's stop, Rei readies himself at the door, taking a deep breath in preparation for what will surely be the fastest sprint of his life. But, just as he's about to launch himself from the fourth door, he spots Nagisa, hair mussed and shoulders drooping, stepping into the car through the first.

"Nagisa!" Rei says, too loud—more glares from their car companions—and hurries to meet him. Nagisa's head turns slowly, and he casts a blank stare on Rei that at first doesn't even register familiarity.

"Rei . . . chan?" he says, quiet and disbelieving.

Rei frowns in concern. "You look terrible—are you ill? Did you get enough sleep? Here, sit down."

He leads Nagisa to a pair of empty seats as the train lurches into motion. Even after they've sat, Nagisa is still looking at him as if he doesn't trust his eyes.

"Why are you here?"

"You didn't answer my text! I thought you slept in!"

Nagisa blinks, then fumbles in his jacket. "Oh . . . my phone . . ." he mumbles, turning out his pockets empty-handed.

Nagisa never has been very good in the mornings. Rei sighs, caught somewhere between disapproval and fond exasperation. "Did you at least eat something?"

"Eat?" Nagisa seems to be thinking very hard.

Rei clicks his tongue and digs through his backpack. "I only have this," he says, producing a Calorie Mate, "but it will have to do." He watches Nagisa accept the snack delicately, staring down at it as if he's never seen food before, and adds, "We'll get you something with caffeine in it before we get to the testing center. How much did you sleep last night?"

Nagisa struggles to tear open the wrapper at first, but once he's succeeded, in typical Nagisa fashion, he inhales both energy bars in the space of time it takes most people to sneeze. "Dunno," he says, mouth half-full. "Two hours, maybe? I was nervous."

It's the perfect opportunity to remind Nagisa of the exact sleep study he so proudly lectured Rei on last week, and Rei opens his mouth to do so, but Nagisa doesn't give him the chance.

"Rei-chan," he says. He's gradually coming to his senses, Rei can tell, his eyes focusing little by little. "Don't you have to study?"

For perhaps the first time in months, Rei realizes, he hasn't given a moment's thought to his own impending entrance exam. Before he can reflect too much on what this means, he's waving a dismissive hand and forcing himself to look, he hopes, cool and unconcerned.

"I was thinking I'd take a day off," he lies. "I've heard it's a good study strategy."

Their train slows to a stop and the doors open to a mostly empty platform, which only seems to accentuate how intently Nagisa is watching him, like the whole world has been put on pause in order for Rei to be scrutinized. He fidgets, face growing hot.

Because making Rei acutely uncomfortable has never been something Nagisa had much of a problem with, he takes it one step further, grabbing Rei's sleeve with both hands and saying "Thank you, Rei," with such seriousness—and such conspicuous absence of his usual _"-chan,"_ —that Rei can do nothing at all but nod, just once.

"Is it okay if I sleep the rest of the way?" Nagisa is already nuzzling his head onto Rei's shoulder and pulling his arm closer, like it's his own stiff, awkward stuffed animal, and of course Rei isn't going to say no.

"I'll wake you when we get there," he tells him, voice hoarse, and then Nagisa is asleep, just like that.

Nagisa insists on going to the actual test center alone, unwilling to be responsible for any more lost study time, so Rei bids him good luck outside the station and finds a nearby library to wait at for the next few hours. Even after he locates a few textbooks that might be useful to study from, he can't really make himself focus, too anxious wondering about Nagisa's progress. Even more distracting is the question that's been gnawing at him for days now: What are they going to do, in the event that he and Nagisa both get into their respective universities?

When his phone buzzes to alert him to a new email, Rei is happy for the distraction. The feeling only lasts as long as it takes him to read the first line, however.

_SAGITTARIUS: UNCLOUD YOUR EYES_

_Finding the answer to your current predicament may be a simple matter of asking yourself the right question._

Unnerved, Rei deletes the email before he can finish reading it. He puts his head down on the desk and sleeps fitfully until the alarm signaling the end of Nagisa's exam starts beeping, and he hurries back to the station, blaming the mid-day nap for how disconcerted he feels.

The next week passes with breakneck speed, in large part due to the fact that Rei's waking hours are filled with so much frantic studying that time seems to slip through his fingers like water. Nagisa's test appears to have gone all right, at least from what Rei can glean; Nagisa is being uncharacteristically quiet about it, just shrugging and muttering about it being "okay" when Rei asks. He must be more nervous about the results than Rei had anticipated.

Rei wants to tell him that he's quite certain Nagisa has nothing to worry about after all the studying they've done, but doing so would require thinking further about Nagisa attending Tottori while Rei is in Tokyo, and that particular train of thought is doing nothing to help his concentration during his final cramming sessions. In fact, it's been alarmingly distracting over the past several days, cluttering Rei's head with new worries just when he thought he had no room to fit anything else.

The day before the test, Rei leaves the library early, having finally conceded that there may be something to the numerous articles Nagisa has forwarded him about the importance of sleep over cramming the night before a test.

A message from Nagisa buzzes on Rei's phone, as if he could sense Rei was thinking about him. Rei smiles as he reads it.

_have you left yet? go home!! eat dinner! go to bed early!! do you want me to go with you on the train tomorrow???_

He's focused on keying back a response as he walks, so Rei doesn't notice the person in his path until he's plowed directly into him, nearly dropping his phone from the impact.

"I'm so—" Rei starts, but he never finishes the apology. _"Nitori-kun?"_

Nitori had been mid-apology as well, but now he's smiling. "Rei!"

"What are you doing here?" Rei asks.

"Studying," Nitori says. "Like you, I'm sure! I should have known I'd see you here!"

"This library does stay open later than any other in our prefecture," Rei agrees.

"Uh—right," Nitori says. "So, when is your test?"

"Tomorrow. You?"

"Tomorrow, too." Nitori looks about as anxious as Rei feels.

"Nagisa took the Tottori College exam last weekend, and he didn't seem to have too much trouble," Rei says, in an attempt to be reassuring.

Instead of looking reassured, though, Nitori furrows his brow. "But—Tottori's exam is tomorrow," he says. "That's what I've been studying for."

Rei's brow furrows too, at that. "What? That can't be right…."

"I'm sure of it," Nitori says. "I even printed the confirmation email!"

He pulls a piece of paper out of one of his textbooks and holds it out, but Rei doesn't even try to read it.

"Right—must be my mistake," he says, fingers closing tight around his phone. "I should get going—my train—"

"Sure," Nitori says. He looks perplexed, though, even a little concerned. "Uh—good luck tomorrow, then!"

"You too! Goodbye!" With that, Rei takes off, walking as fast as possible toward the station, not even pausing to see if Nitori might have been on his way to the same place.

He spends most of the train ride home staring at Nagisa's message, unable to even begin to compose a reply. Every option that comes to mind is some variation of, _Thanks. By the way, did you lie about applying to Tottori? And why????_ But this doesn't feel satisfactory, and in the end he loses nerve.

 _Almost home now,_ he finally writes, keying it out just as he's stepping onto the platform at his stop. _I think I'll be fine tomorrow, but thanks._

He closes his phone and makes to slip it in his pocket, but, thinking on it a second longer, decides to turn it off entirely. The rest of the walk home he has nothing to distract him but the frenzied whirring of his mind, and he observes, distractedly, that he may never have been less focused on an impending test in his life.

 

 

If the test is as horrible as he's been led to believe, Rei doesn't remember it. He has a fuzzy memory of sitting down in his seat at the testing center and wondering if Nagisa had even taken a test at all—but that was ridiculous, why would he have been studying so much if not for a test?—and then it was starting, and he was selecting answers almost automatically, with no concern at all for double-checking or timing strategy. One of the English answers was _credence—Trust,_ Rei had thought, and then, _Why doesn't Nagisa trust me?—_ and he had almost run out of time on that section staring distantly at the corner of his scratch paper.

He's never left a test with less of an idea of how well he did in his life. He's also never left a test caring so little about the outcome; the only thing on Rei's mind is Nagisa. Still, an entire night and morning of trying to work out what to do or say hasn't helped him come any closer to an answer. He doesn't know whether he should be sad, or angry, or sorry, or something else entirely; all he knows is, he needs to do _something._

He walks out onto the steps leading to the testing center and turns on his phone, waiting impatiently for the necessary lag time to pass before it buzzes with unread messages. One text from his mother, asking about the exam. One from Nagisa, asking the same. And one email. Answering either text just now feels impossible, so Rei opens his email instead.

_SAGITTARIUS: ACT NOW! CHIRON RETROGRADE, VENUS RISING!_

Rei pauses at the sight of the subject line, his thumb hovering over the "Trash" button. He counts to ten, swallows hard, and opens the message.

_Sagittarius, the celestial bodies are aligning in your favor! With Chiron in retrograde, the timing is ideal to work on some soul-searching. What was once unclear will make itself known, if only you allow yourself to open your heart and mind to previously unexplored possibilities. And rising Venus means the HEART should guide these explorations. Give yourself over to your heart's desires: What is it REALLY telling you? What do you REALLY want? Don't be led astray by false conjectures or unfounded worries. Trust your heart to take you where you need to go, and you may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome._

His heart is certainly beating hard, Rei realizes, as he quickly snaps his phone shut.

"Ridiculous," he says, or tries to, but the word falls apart on his lips, weak and unfinished. He moves his right leg forward, down one step, and follows with the left, down one more. Then he stops, pulls his phone out again, and opens his text messages.

 _It went fine,_ he sends to his mother. _On my way back. Might get food before home._

To Nagisa, he sends, _I'm finished. Can I come over?_

He doesn't wait for a reply before he takes off for the train station at a jog.

 

 

"Rei?" Nagisa's forehead is creased with worry when he opens the door. "Are you okay? You didn't answer my messages…."

"I'm," Rei says, stepping into Nagisa's entryway and running a hand through his hair. "Thirsty," he eventually decides on. He ran the entire way from the station to Nagisa's. "Can I have some water?"

"Of course—" Nagisa steps aside, letting Rei lead the way to the kitchen, which he knows very well.

No one else seems to be around; it's much quieter than is usual in the Hazuki household. Rei grabs himself a glass and fills it from a bottle in the fridge.

"Did the test…not go well?" Nagisa asks, hesitantly, once Rei has had a chance to take several swallows of water.

"The test?" Rei frowns. "It was fine. I don't really—I think it was fine."

Now Nagisa looks utterly perplexed. "O…kay," he says. "Then—why—"

"You didn't take the Tottori entrance exam," Rei says, a statement rather than a question. "Why?"

Nagisa had been in the midst of reaching for a glass himself, but he freezes now, arm extended in midair, mouth half-open. For a few seconds, neither of them moves or speaks. At length, Nagisa's arm falls back to his side.

"How . . . ?" is all he says.

"I ran into Nitori," Rei says. "Yesterday. He was studying for Tottori."

Nagisa nods his understanding, but doesn't say anything else. Instead, he just frowns down at the floor, forehead wrinkled in the way Rei knows means he's trying not to cry.

"Nagisa," Rei says, carefully, gently. "I'm not angry, I just—I just want to know why. What haven't you been telling me?"

One of Nagisa's hands starts to pull anxiously at the hem of his shirt; he still doesn't look up. "I can't tell you," he says, in a small voice.

Rei tries very hard not to make it _too_ obvious just how much the words make his heart hurt. He sets his water glass down on the counter and takes a deep breath. "Nagisa-kun," he says, "you know, even if you didn't apply to any university, I would still—" he trails off, suddenly stuck on what word he should choose to complete the thought.

"But I did apply!" Nagisa says, an appreciated interruption, lifting his chin at last. Rei can see his eyes shining, but still, he looks a little proud, even defiant.

"Then," Rei says, still careful, "why did you lie to me?"

At the word _lie,_ Nagisa flinches. "Because," he says, faltering, tugging so hard on the hem of his shirt it looks like he might tear it in half. "Because—I can't—because I'm scared!"

This isn't the answer Rei is anticipating, and it makes his heart start racing, unexpectedly, suddenly feeling a little scared, too. "Scared?" he repeats. "Of what?"

Nagisa glances at Rei quickly, up and away again. He swallows tangibly, then closes his eyes as he answers, "I applied to Tokai University. In Tokyo."

"Tokyo?" Rei's voice breaks when he repeats it but he doesn't care; he's so overcome with a wave of confused relief that he has to physically restrain himself from grabbing Nagisa by the shoulders and kissing him full on the mouth.

_Oh._

Maybe the face Rei makes at this sudden, unexpected thought looks a little concerning from where Nagisa is standing. He sounds anxious, anyway, when he rushes to explain himself further.

"I wanted to tell you," he says. "But I was so worried I wouldn't get in—I still don't know if I'll get in—and—and—" His knuckles are going white around the fisted ball of t-shirt he's twisting into a knot. "I don't care that much about the school. I don't even know what I want to study, I just . . . couldn't stand it," he finishes at last, weakly.           

Rei is still reeling, struggling to focus fully on Nagisa's confession when he feels like he just confessed something himself, but he manages to choke out a clarifying question: "Couldn't stand what?"

Nagisa doesn't meet Rei's eyes when he answers, "Being so far away from you."

It's like the moment just after solving a math problem that's been incomprehensible for weeks. Rei actually has to smack himself on the forehead, he's been so stupid _—_ _"'What was once unclear will make itself known,'"_ he mutters to himself.

"What?" Nagisa says.

"Nothing." Rei does reach out for Nagisa's shoulders now, gripping them tightly, and Nagisa blinks up at him in stunned silence, but doesn't pull away.

"I'm glad," Rei says, almost breathless in his eagerness to get it out. "I think it's a good idea—a wonderful idea. Also, I think I may be in love with you."

He stops short of actually pulling Nagisa into a kiss. That seems like something that needs a little more warning, or at least forethought, and seeing as Rei only _just_ worked this out for himself, it stands to reason that Nagisa might need more time—

And that's precisely when Nagisa launches himself into Rei's arms, laughing and blubbering and nuzzling into his chest, planting hurried, wet kisses wherever he can reach: Rei's collarbone, his neck, next to his ear. Rei starts to laugh, too, and maybe his eyes have also gotten just a little wet. He hugs Nagisa back and tries to meet his kisses, but it's nearly impossible—Nagisa is buzzing, wriggling in his arms, unable to stay still for even a moment.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa says after innumerable half-kisses, lifting his hands to frame either side of Rei's face. "Really?"

"Really," Rei says, firm, and it's the first question he's answered all day that he's 100% confident he got correct.

 

 

_SAGITTARIUS: GOOD NEWS AHEAD!_

_Sagittarius's stroke of fortune continues this month with impending good news. Look out for a major life-changing announcement sometime within the next few weeks. From there, as long as you make wise decisions and keep following the path laid out for you by the stars, you will have many years of happiness to look forward to._

"I thought astrology was unscientific codswallop?" Nagisa closes the door to Rei's room and drops his bag on the floor, approaching to peer over Rei's shoulder at the computer screen.

Rei turns in his chair and they kiss, two, three times, Nagisa bending over him in a way Rei is starting to very much enjoy.

"There are some compelling arguments to be made for giving consideration to even untestable sciences," Rei says, running one hand up Nagisa's back.

Nagisa grins at him. "You're such a nerd."

Rei ignores this, choosing instead to click out of his horoscope email to a new tab. "I was just looking at apartments."

Nagisa blushes a little, then shifts, taking a seat on Rei's lap.

"We still don't even know if I'll get in," he says.

They have weeks before either of them will get official results. Rei knows this. And yet— "I have a good feeling."

Nagisa smiles at him, flush spreading, before returning his attention to the computer screen. "Me, too," he says.


End file.
